There are a few hitches I plan on fixing. Feedback I'm looking for is do the actions make sense for both characters? Are there places that need to be more exaggerated or toned down?
when she screams she looks more surprised than scared. is she just supposed to be just surprised? or did he scare her. I'm not sure if you need the head shake on the guy for the second shot. maybe thats where a hitch is you plan on fixing. I like the idea of it, but it might be the angle that he starts.
I like the sweeping at the beginning, the staging is so much better now, but the sound is really sharp at the beginning, maybe you can tone it down in Adobe Audition
Does she spin the broom around? In the first part the top of the broom is pointing at his then it changes to the bottom of the broom. I think you could emphasize him stepping back. Maybe make her more crouched to give her more of a defensive look
SeemsGood, keep working on polishing it. You need to change the camera on the third scene she looks so small compared to other ones. and to answer your question. more exaggeration is better than no exaggeration.
I think you do a really fantastic job on the timing of some of the movements- the slight turn she does before the double take and the turn on the male character when she points out the window really work well. The dialogue you chose has so much life to it I think you could really push Mery's movements a bit more. When she screams she should really look like she's terrified, when she gasps her whole body should move like she's really trying to fill her lungs before going off on him.
I would also push her forward when she realizes she recognizes him. She steps back when she says "gangster" then steps forward when she says she's seen his picture- have her advance toward him like she'll actually whack him. Hopefully I've answered your questions- can't wait to see what the final scene looks like!
8 comments:
when she screams she looks more surprised than scared. is she just supposed to be just surprised? or did he scare her. I'm not sure if you need the head shake on the guy for the second shot. maybe thats where a hitch is you plan on fixing. I like the idea of it, but it might be the angle that he starts.
Overall looks great. I just thought that when she is pointing him, i would more exaggerate the action line.
Maybe have her still looking at the man before she look down when she says:" I don't care what you do."
Her line of action doesn't seem to change a lot in the first shot.
I like the sweeping at the beginning, the staging is so much better now, but the sound is really sharp at the beginning, maybe you can tone it down in Adobe Audition
Does she spin the broom around? In the first part the top of the broom is pointing at his then it changes to the bottom of the broom. I think you could emphasize him stepping back. Maybe make her more crouched to give her more of a defensive look
SeemsGood, keep working on polishing it. You need to change the camera on the third scene she looks so small compared to other ones. and to answer your question. more exaggeration is better than no exaggeration.
Hello Sarah,
I think you do a really fantastic job on the timing of some of the movements- the slight turn she does before the double take and the turn on the male character when she points out the window really work well. The dialogue you chose has so much life to it I think you could really push Mery's movements a bit more. When she screams she should really look like she's terrified, when she gasps her whole body should move like she's really trying to fill her lungs before going off on him.
I would also push her forward when she realizes she recognizes him. She steps back when she says "gangster" then steps forward when she says she's seen his picture- have her advance toward him like she'll actually whack him. Hopefully I've answered your questions- can't wait to see what the final scene looks like!
-Diana
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